Don't Say Goodbye
by ourheroregina
Summary: Set after 05x02. Regina has a secret.


Disclaimer: I don't own OUaT.

Set after 05x02. This is kinda sad. You've been warned.

(-)

"You should go to bed," Robin's soft voice wakes her from the slumber. He's whispered the words right into her ear, the air leaving his mouth tickles her, makes her squirm. He chuckles quietly at her and she wants to pout, to curl into a ball and sleep here forever.

Robin's hand lands on her shoulder shaking her gently, telling her that it's time to wake up. But she doesn't want to get up. So instead of opening her eyes she shifts on this not-so-comfortable couch, curls into a ball, draws her knees to her chest.

And in a moment she's reminded why she felt asleep on the couch in the first place. The ache of her ribs makes her hiss, clench her teeth.

She moves to her previous position as slowly as she can, breathing heavily but when her legs are stretched on the bed again she sighs in relief, the pain subsiding a bit. Another sigh leaves her and finally opens her eyes, finds a very worried Robin looking from above her.

It's not a surprise, really. She almost collapsed in the kitchen making lunch for their little family and he literally pushed her into the living room, demanded her to lay down and rest for a while. Of course she'd refused at first, told him she was fine (she wasn't, honestly she cannot remember the last time she was fine) but he wasn't listening to her. For a short moment he looked like a stubborn Robin she met in Enchanted Forest and she decided that she's not going to win this fight anyway, so she let him win that one time.

"Regina?" She hears him calling her name so she blinks for a few times and focuses on him again. He still looks worried, tired even, his beautiful face turned into a frown. And it's all her fault.

She forces a smile before pressing her lips together so a wince cannot escape her and sits up. The pain is worse than it was before she felt asleep, it seems like it's getting worse with each passing second, like it's eating her from the inside.

Robin's hand falls on her knee as he kneels in front of her. She looks at him, finds him with that worried expression on his face. He looks scared and she cannot help but stretch out her hand and touch his cheek.

"I'm fine," She says, and is surprised because her voice doesn't shake.

Robin doesn't believe her, she can tell from the way his frown deepens, but he doesn't say anything. He just rests his head on her lap, sighing heavily. Her heart clenches, as she lets her hand run through his hair, as she quietly assures him again, "Robin, I'm fine. You have nothing to worry about."

He doesn't answer. He doesn't move.

"I'm fine," She repeats.

This time he reacts, he lifts his head from her lap and looks up at her, straight into her dark eyes. He's thinking about something, over-thinking.

Suddenly he stands up and stretches his hand out for her. "Can you walk or should I carry you?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at her. She smiles a little at his sudden change, shaking her head at him but putting her hand in his anyway. A help wouldn't be that bad.

He helps her to stand up, and once again, she has to press her lips together so a yelp wouldn't escape her. Thankfully when she's standing on her feet the ache is not that bad, so she smiles at him and pecks his lips.

"Don't worry," She tells him.

He nods his head, tells her he doesn't worry but he's lying, he's always worried about her, worried about Roland, worried about Henry, worried about his unborn daughter, worried about the whole world. But she doesn't say anything, she just squeezes his hand and they walk up the stairs.

(…)

Later that evening they're lying in each other's arms, talking about every kind of things that don't really matter (and they do it every single night), they are relaxed, and it seems that that incident earlier that day is forgotten. And Regina cannot be happier for that.

But then his hand accidentally (or not so) runs over her ribs, making her react before she can think. She yelps in pain and her hand is immediately over her mouth to stop the sound but it's already too late and Robin is moving away from her, turning on the nightlight.

Regina doesn't move. She just lies there as if paralyzed while her thoughts are running wild, trying to find a way to escape him, to escape this conversation they're about to have. Because she doesn't know how she's going to explain this to him.

She thinks about teleporting herself away from him, running away (she's good at running away from important things, has done it already in the past so many times, it almost ruined her whole life) but then Robin hand in on her wrist, holding it gently and she realizes that she will have to face him eventually anyway.

"Regina?" Robin says her name softly. She can tell that he tries to sound calm but there's an edge in his voice which lets her knows that he's worried, very worried.

"I'm tired. Let's sleep." It's probably the most stupid thing she's ever said.

"Regina," He says again, this time his voice isn't that soft. He lets her know that she's not going to escape this conversation. "What's happening?" He asks quietly, stretching his hand to touch her ribs gently but just as soon as his fingers make contact with her, she hisses out, making him pull away immediately. His eyes find hers but she looks away, pulls away from him and sits up, pressing her lips as tight as possible. "Show me your ribs," He says when she turns her back to him and inhales and exhales trying to calm down her breathing. She can feel his gaze burning right though her but she refuses to turn around and face him.

He's the one moving, and he does it quickly, before she has time to react he's lifting her nightgown up until he can see her ribs covered in deep blue bruises, bruises which look that bad that he understands immediately that she doesn't have much time left.

His hands fall to his sides as his jaw drops open. He's frozen in his place, his eyes not leaving her bruised ribs and she hates that look. So she quickly pulls her nightgown down, furious and afraid at the same time, and then stands up from the bed (this time she doesn't wince, God, she has been hiding it for months now, she learned to keep herself quiet but sometimes it's just too much) and runs to the bathroom, shutting the door behind herself.

(…)

It's been hours since she locked herself up in the bathroom, hours, since she let herself sink on the cold ground and cry. She has no idea how much time has passed but the rising Sun tells her that it really has long.

She wonders if she should leave the bedroom or avoid Robin for a few days until she figures out what to say, how to explain this. But she has been waiting for two months already and answers didn't come. She doesn't think they will come now.

So she finds all the strength she has and stands up from the cold floor, shaking a little bit (now her legs hurt too from an uncomfortable position she's been in) and walks to the door. Taking a deep breath, she opens the door hoping that he will be sleeping. Or not be there at all.

But he's there. And not sleeping.

He's sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, and she can see the way he's struggling to breath. She feels her own throat closing, a knot of tears is back but she doesn't want to cry, she wants to be strong and comfort him. After all it's her fault.

"Regina."

She's startled when he calls her name and lifts his head from his hands to look at her. She immediately looks down to the floor, trying to find something right to say but all the words are gone from her head, she's speechless.

It takes her a moment or two but she forces herself to move, she forces herself to go to the bed and sit down beside him but not close enough to touch him. She sighs then and whispers, "You should be sleeping."

He lets out a humorless chuckle at that, looks at her again and their eyes meet, dark and light, brown and blue. His eyes are red and swollen, she hasn't been the one crying it seems. It makes her feel even worse and she quickly turns her gaze away, swallowing hard.

She's not going to cry.

"How long?"

His question surprises her, catches her off guard but she doesn't let it show.

"How long what?" She asks.

"How long you've been hiding this from me?" He points to her ribs, this time he doesn't touch and she's glad because it hurts more and more with each passing day and touches make it worse. "Tell me." He adds quietly, letting his hand touch hers.

His touch is comforting and she sighs again. She doesn't want to answer, he will be mad, he will be so mad but then he squeezes her hand lightly, encouraging her.

"Since the Furry took you," Her answers is so quiet, he barely can hear it.

Robin tenses beside her, his hold tightening on her hand as he takes a deep inhale, trying to keep himself as calm as possible.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You had enough problems already," She whispers quietly, giving his hand a light squeeze. "You were dealing with Marian not being Marian, with Zelena being pregnant and all the other stuff. You've already had enough on your plate." She tells him moving closer until she can rest her head on his shoulder.

"Does it mean that you're going to-" He doesn't have to finish his sentence because she cuts him off.

"Yes. And believe me, there's really no way to stop this. I talked with Mr. Gold, with Dr. Whale. I even talked with Emma about it and their answer was the same: there's no way to stop this poison." She explains, and memories of all the times she was told that she's not going to survive this comes back to her head. All those fearful moments that she won't see Henry and Roland growing up, that she won't grown old with Robin comes back into her head, and she squeezes his hand again, closing her eyes tightly, trying to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks.

"I'm going to find a way," He tells her, pulling away a bit so he can kiss on top of her head. "I promise." He repeats and wraps his arm around her, trying to comfort her. But it's impossible. It's impossible to comfort the dying.

Regina doesn't tell him anything. Instead she lets her emotions take over her and tears start running down her cheeks. She presses herself into his chest because she has been fighting with this pain, psychical and mental, for months, she was so scared, so frustrated and angry with the world and she could tell no one. But now, when Robin knows, she lets herself break because holding it all in is a little bit too much.

She cries and cries and cries until she feels so tired that even crying seems too hard, and she's very thankful that Robin understands that and helps her to lie down, pulls covers over her and holds her until the morning.

(…)

The next morning she wakes up with someone poking at her cheeks and when she opens her eyes she finds a boy with dimples in his cheeks grinning at her. She blinks for a few times until her eyes adjust to the light and when she looks around, she finds Henry and Robin there too.

Henry smiles at her and hands her a cup of coffee, and when she turns to Robin she finds him smiling too. When she asks what's happening, he tells her that from now on they're going to spend so much time together and she'll get tired of them.

And Robin keeps his word. He doesn't leave her side until the day comes.

(-)

Thoughts?


End file.
